Monthly Archives: February 2012

One Direction You’re My Obsession

If you know me, you know I love boy bands (did you read my bio?). I don’t discriminate, I love them all. And they weren’t just a passing phase for me back in 1999, I still secretly (and now, not-so-secretly) love boy bands. I don’t know what it is about them. Maybe it’s the fact that they’re all manufactured by creepy older men (I’m looking at you, Lou Pearlman). Or maybe it’s because of their sweet harmonies or perfectly coiffed hair. Or the track pants and tanks (worn with some sort of chain or puka shell necklace or purity ring). Whatever it is, I’ve been a sucker for boy bands for as long as I can remember.

So it was only natural that I would be intrigued by this band on the X Factor, manufactured by a creepy old man (Simon Cowell), called One Direction. I was really into X Factor UK YouTube videos last spring. It was addicting (I actually enjoyed Cher Lloyd and seriously, why didn’t Rebecca Ferguson win?). But that boy band really had my heart. And when they sang She’s the One with Robbie Williams during the finals, I just about died. I want to give a shoutout to Maude Apatow (daughter of Leslie Mann and Judd) who was able to sum up my feelings (and probably everyone else’s) toward One Direction with this superb interview in Teen Vogue. How genius is the intro? Can my shoulder be in Harry’s armpit? Maude, Sam and I want to hang out with you.

Of course, like any boy band, there are only two guys that really sing. But unlike most boy bands, they’re all actually really attractive (sorry Chris Kirkpatrick, Joey Fatone, AJ McLean, etc.). Like I can’t choose which one I love the most, but I’m 85% sure Harry’s my favorite right now. It’s his hair, I think. They also combine some of my most favorite things in life: Brits, skinny pants (on boys, not me since I hate wearing pants), good hair and cheesy lyrics. Plus, they have an amazing stylist. The suspenders and bowties and fitted blazers? Swoon. So they’re a little young for me (I think the oldest one is 20), but if I learned anything from Delta Goodrem and Nick Jonas, is it’s okay to be cougar when you get to realize your boy band fantasies of yester-year. (Delta’s a boy band vet, she was engaged to Brian McFadden of Westlife).

If this doesn’t make you love them, I don’t know what will. Look at how dapper they look. Can I be one of those screaming girls? I swear, they’re going to be big in the U.S. I call dibs on Harry.

–SARAH

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The Time I Named My Baby Sister After a Character in Full House

whatever happened to predictability?

I had an unhealthy obsession with Full House when I was little. The Tanners were just so cool — they had the best dog ever (Comet!), a huge house that could fit nine people  (and sometimes Kimmy Gibbler and Aladdin, I mean, Steve) plus a recording studio and they lived in San Francisco and took cable cars all the time. Side note, one day I want to live in San Francisco and I imagine my days will consist of riding cable cars and eating clam chowder in bread bowls. Anyways, I never missed an episode of Full House on TGIF (we’ll get to that ground-breaking block of Friday night television in a future post). Yup, I was there when DJ had body issues and worked out a lot, when Stephanie crashed the car into the house and when Aunt Becky broke the news to Uncle Jesse that she was pregnant by making him a dinner of baby back ribs, baby corn and baby shrimp (that’s totally how I’m gonna break the news to my future babydaddy).  I had the Full House board game (it was boring but I pretended it was the most riveting game in the world). And did anyone try to sleep in their bathtub like Stephanie did when she didn’t want to share a room? I did. I was a mega fan.

I was also an only child for the first five years of my life. It was pretty great. I got all the attention. I had an imaginary friend (Jenny! She had blonde hair and blue eyes. Are you creeped out right now?). But one day my parents told me I was going to have a baby sister and I got stars in my eyes. Because with my days as an only child numbered, I was going to use it to my advantage.

you got it dude

I told my parents to name my baby sister Michelle after the one and only Michelle “You got it dude” Tanner. And they did. My mom doesn’t even regret it. So how did I do it? Well, this is where I learned that persistence really does pay off. A life lesson, I tell you. I begged and begged them to name her Michelle. Every day I talked about how great Michelle Tanner was. I drew pictures and sang songs (“Everywhere you look…”) Maybe my parents are complete pushovers or maybe I’m really persuasive and charming and annoying.  When I asked my mom about it a few months ago, she said, “Yeah we named your sister Michelle because you wouldn’t shut up about it.” How many people get to name their siblings? It’s my claim to fame. And if you were wondering, my sister Michelle likes her name (but rolls her eyes whenever she hears this story).

-SARAH

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The Simpsons

courtesy of FOX

When I was little, my sister (four years older) was obsessed with The Simpsons. I was too, if only because my sister was, and thus had a Bart Simpson doll that I would take every day to my babysitter’s house/daycare. Naturally.

A few things you should know about me as a child: I was terribly shy. I was terribly fond of dolls. And I was terribly, inexplicably terrified of getting in trouble. (I still have a real problem with authority.)

If you’ve ever held this 90s toy (and it’s okay if you haven’t, that means you were probably normal, as opposed to an almost-four-year-old girl with a prized Bart Simpson doll), just know that its head is abnormally huge and heavy. I found an image, though there was no credit (apparently, no one wants to be associated with this terrible thing):

Long story short: I accidentally wacked some kid in the face with Bart (Sorry, Adam!). I was sentenced to timeout. I wailed for about 30 minutes.

Who decided it was a good idea to have that large of a head, made entirely of plastic, on a small, plush body? WHO?!

There is a happy ending to this: For Christmas we got The Simpsons Sing the Blues. “Do the Bart Man” restored my love for The Simpsons.

– SAM

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This is how our brains work. [G-Chat]

3:31 PM Sarah: 
90s tv
the best
you watched boy meets world right
because i can’t really talk about that
3:33 PM Samantha:
CLEARLY
3:33 PM Sarah:
it wasn’t my fave show
3:33 PM Samantha:
wait what
3:33 PM Sarah:
ok good
3:33 PM Samantha:
HUH
WHAT
UM
STOP RYDER STRONNNNNG
TOPANGA!
3:33 PM Sarah:
i just got a visual
3:33 PM Samantha:
of her writing on her face
3:33 PM Sarah:
of topanga putting that lipstick all over her face
3:33 PM Samantha:
with a lipstick
omg
3:34 PM Sarah:
omg
3:34 PM Sarah:
we are on the same wavelength
it’s kinda freaky
3:34 PM Samantha:
FREAKY FRIDAY
3:34 PM Sarah:
also
california dreams
yes?
3:35 PM Samantha:
yes
yes
of course
i just got that windchime transition in my head
3:35 PM Sarah:
omg and what was that show with basketball
hoop dreams?
jump start?
3:35 PM Samantha:
HOOP DREAMS
3:35 PM Sarah:
omg is it really
3:35 PM Samantha:
wait was that it
3:35 PM Sarah:
but you know what i’m talking about right
also there was another show about guys in the city
CITY GUYS
my brain is like freaking out right now
3:36 PM Samantha:
HANG TIME
3:36 PM Sarah:
hang time!!!
3:37 PM Sarah:
this is crazy
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