I had an unhealthy obsession with Full House when I was little. The Tanners were just so cool — they had the best dog ever (Comet!), a huge house that could fit nine people (and sometimes Kimmy Gibbler and Aladdin, I mean, Steve) plus a recording studio and they lived in San Francisco and took cable cars all the time. Side note, one day I want to live in San Francisco and I imagine my days will consist of riding cable cars and eating clam chowder in bread bowls. Anyways, I never missed an episode of Full House on TGIF (we’ll get to that ground-breaking block of Friday night television in a future post). Yup, I was there when DJ had body issues and worked out a lot, when Stephanie crashed the car into the house and when Aunt Becky broke the news to Uncle Jesse that she was pregnant by making him a dinner of baby back ribs, baby corn and baby shrimp (that’s totally how I’m gonna break the news to my future babydaddy). I had the Full House board game (it was boring but I pretended it was the most riveting game in the world). And did anyone try to sleep in their bathtub like Stephanie did when she didn’t want to share a room? I did. I was a mega fan.
I was also an only child for the first five years of my life. It was pretty great. I got all the attention. I had an imaginary friend (Jenny! She had blonde hair and blue eyes. Are you creeped out right now?). But one day my parents told me I was going to have a baby sister and I got stars in my eyes. Because with my days as an only child numbered, I was going to use it to my advantage.
I told my parents to name my baby sister Michelle after the one and only Michelle “You got it dude” Tanner. And they did. My mom doesn’t even regret it. So how did I do it? Well, this is where I learned that persistence really does pay off. A life lesson, I tell you. I begged and begged them to name her Michelle. Every day I talked about how great Michelle Tanner was. I drew pictures and sang songs (“Everywhere you look…”) Maybe my parents are complete pushovers or maybe I’m really persuasive and charming and annoying. When I asked my mom about it a few months ago, she said, “Yeah we named your sister Michelle because you wouldn’t shut up about it.” How many people get to name their siblings? It’s my claim to fame. And if you were wondering, my sister Michelle likes her name (but rolls her eyes whenever she hears this story).