Let’s talk about the Kid’s Choice Awards. It aired last Saturday and yes, I watched it. First of all, Will Smith hosted. Dang, where have you been Will? Of course, he brought the whole fam along, Jada (who looked pretty fierce with her head half shaved), Willow (who apparently has no hair to whip back and forth anymore), Jaden and the one that isn’t in showbusiness and is semi-normal, Will’s older son Trey. Will was channeling his inner Fresh Prince and wore a bronzed jacket with baseball hat askew.
I gotta say watching the Kids Choice Awards made me wish I was a tween again. I wanted to be there dancing in the audience with slime in my hair while One Direction sang to me (Harry would probably be serenading me). In my tween fantasy, I would be dancing to “What Makes You Beautiful” with Selena Gomez, Ashley Tisdale and Taylor Swift (because they were grooving to One Direction in the audience, the camera kept panning to them)
So let me recap what happened if you didn’t catch it last Saturday night (this makes me sound so lame that I wasn’t out at a bar on Saturday being a hip twenty-something). Katy Perry sang her new song with a Medieval-esque theme and had an armor that probably blinded all the kids in the front row. Kristen Stewart won Best Actress (wait, what?) and then she mentioned Rocko’s Modern Life and Doug in her awkward (per usual) acceptance speech. She made me like her for a hot second. The coolest mom (and First Lady) around Michelle Obama gave “The Big Help” award to Taylor Swift. Taylor acted surprised (per usual). Oh and did I mention, MObama came out to Beyonce’s “Get Me Bodied” and she looked fierce in metallics? One Direction sang and I swooned. Taylor Lautner won “Favorite Butt Kicker” and then Will Smith challenged him to do 1,000 pushups (yes, really). I think he did them but it went to commercial break and then when it came back he said he was on 999. And lastly, Justin Bieber surprised all the kiddos (and their moms) in the audience by appearing to accept his “Favorite Singer” award, even though it looked like Justin wasn’t at the awards. Then he and Will Smith got slimed. It was magical.