Lunchables

Oh Lunchables, they were so exciting when I was a kid. Now I’m wondering why I ever ate them/why my parents even allowed me to eat them. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a smart concept in cool packaging — of course kids would love them. I was a big fan of them. You were cool and got some street cred if you brought Lunchables to school. Here are all the combos I can remember:

-Basic. These had some sort of deli meat (I always went for ham or turkey, bologna is sick), crackers and cheese (I never ate the cheese, this was before I knew about the wonders of cheese). Sometimes it came with a cookie, other times it didn’t.

-Deluxe. These had the same as a basic one but there was Capri Sun AND a mini candy bar or cookie. Those ones were the best in my opinion, why go for basic when you’ve got a drink and a dessert too?

-Pizza. This was where Lunchables got a little crazy with the offerings. Pizza! I don’t even know why this was good because it wasn’t hot pizza and the “dough” part was not very good. They gave you some cheese, pepperoni and a little packet of sauce and you could be your own chef during lunch time. If I ate them at home, I used to microwave them. It defeats the purpose, but it tasted better. Wouldn’t just some leftover cold pizza from dinner last night be way better? Also, there were some packs they came with a “dessert” pizza so you put some chocolate syrup or frosting and candies on it. Um

-Taco Bell. Now this is making me a little sick just thinking about it. For the beef tacos, they gave you the filling in a little pouch. IT WAS COLD. Why was this appetizing? What was this “beef?” It was probably pink slime. They also had a nacho one that was much better. It came with queso and salsa and little round tortilla chips.

-Hot dogs and burgers. Again, why would you eat this stuff if it was cold? I never tried it, I think this stuff started to debut when Lunchables weren’t cool at my school anymore.

I looked on the Lunchables website and I think they’ve gotten rid of the questionable beef tacos, they still have the nachos and pizza (excluding the dessert pizza thank god) though. They have sub sandwiches, chicken nuggets and tortilla wraps too. I think they’re trying to stay on the healthy side since every kid nowadays either has an allergy, is on a gluten-free diet or some other bizarre health thing. I don’t know about you, but where’s the fun when Lunchables are actually healthy and don’t have crazy food combos?

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